How can I control my 'stress' or 'mental pressure'?

If you want to control your stress or mental pressure, first, you need to understand what stress or 'mental pressure' is. When you search on Google, you'll easily find numerous definitions of stress, and some of them may be difficult to comprehend.

But I'll say it simply and straightforwardly that:

Your stress or 'mental pressure' is the lack of the ability to fulfil your desires or meet your needs.

Needs to be explained, right?

Well, imagine someone is looking for a job; really, he needs one urgently, but can't find one. It means he lacks the ability to get a job. The causes might be many: He might not have a degree completed or the grades might be low, he might lack the required smartness during interviews, his English might not be understood by the HR interviewers or vice versa or at the end he might not be having money for bribes or references to be mentioned on demand; all beyond his ability.

When this situation persists for a few days, his mental state will deteriorate. He'll become angry, extremely frustrated, and start disliking even people's good words. After a few days more, headaches will start to occur, sleep will be disrupted, stomach issues will appear, and so on - everything will go wrong in his body and mind. Astrologers will say - it's this planet or that planet, it's this phase or that phase. They will suggest wearing stones, performing rituals, and so on. But nothing will work.

Then the doctor will say “It's ‘stress’.” He will prescribe medication, but even the medicines will never work to the fullest extent.

No, I'm not discouraging anyone, really. I just want to say that if someone doesn't make an effort to reduce stress themselves, medication alone won't work. To be honest, if you just maintain a bit of spiritual activity, you won't even experience stress. Then the topic of medication won't even come up.

What are the causes of stress?

Numerous things can be the cause, but the main reason is the unfulfilled desires. It means what you want in your mind is not happening, and that leads to excessive worry or fear, or both.

- Your exams aren't going well.

- You can't find a good job.

- You are unable to handle the pressure at workplace and the     

    demands of your family.

- You now feel that you have made a big mistake marrying this

    girl.   

- You can't afford to buy or build a house.

- You want to start a business but lack money.

- You can't pay off bank loans.

- You have promised to give someone something but can't arrange

    it.

- The school you sent your child to doesn't seem good now.

- A close relative has just passed away (immaturely or after    

   a long life).

- Relationship breakup, either due to your fault or other reasons.

- Some fund you’ve taken out and spent for your personal use    

    from petty cash fund; how will you adjust it now?

There are many more such reasons - divorce, sibling rivalry, unrequited love, not understanding or not being able to understand each other in a marriage, business losses, illicit relationship and so on.

Apart from all these, in my view, there are two other significant reasons:  always being afraid and doubtful without any justified reason and being dissatisfied.  

I have locked the door, but what if someone breaks it?

The train is jerking. Would there be an accident?

The child hasn't returned home yet; something bad might have happened.

I'm continuing with this job, but not satisfactory at all. Low salary, small office...

I can't tolerate that person at all - just seeing his face makes my blood boil...

Even people in the neighboring house who live a luxurious life may be the cause of your dissatisfaction and stress.

And stress from continuous real fear can be dangerous. That's why those who always practice honesty and truthfulness don't experience fear even for a moment.

Is having desires wrong?

No, not at all. But the stress that arises from desires you have the capability to fulfil is called positive stress or 'eustress.' For example, if you want to get good grades in an exam, that will make you feel stressed. But then you work hard, study for many hours every day, and eventually achieve good grades, and then your stress disappears.

However, it's important to remember that if positive stress or 'eustress' persists for a long time, it can turn into negative stress (distress), which brings the same outcome as I mentioned earlier.

So, before you desire something, you should check whether you have the capability to fulfil that desire.

These desires create positive stress that disappears after fulfilment of the desires:

- The desire to get married.

- The desire to buy a land or build a house.

- The desire to travel to a beautiful place.

- The desire to find a new, good job.

- The desire to give or receive something nice on your birthday,   

    and so on.

What kind of problems can arise from 'stress'?

Good question. But to get the answer to that, first, let's simply know what happens when 'stress' occurs in the body, from the medical perspective.

When a problem arises in our life – for example, someone has just lost his wallet full of currency notes – his brain first detects this news through a part called the amygdala. Knowing this, the amygdala then sends this news to another part of the brain called the hypothalamus. This hypothalamus then spreads this news in its group like in a relay race.  Interestingly, in the group of hypothalamus there are three parts –the hypothalamus itself, the pituitary gland and the adrenal glands. Remarkably, these first two parts are in the brain, and the third one is in the kidneys. So, you see, the entire body is connected through them. This group of these three parts is called the HPA axis, and it spreads the news of the problem through hormones.

From the hypothalamus, a hormone called corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) is released, which reaches the pituitary gland. Instantly then from the pituitary gland, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) is released, which goes to the adrenal glands, and the adrenal glands then release a steroid hormone called cortisol.

This entire process equips the body with the power to fight stress, known as the 'stress response,' or 'fight-or-flight' response. And when stress goes away, cortisol levels decrease, and the body returns to its normal state.

If the body and brain cannot effectively reduce stress, cortisol and other hormone levels do not decrease rather continue to remain high. This affects all of the body's systems – the skeletal system, respiratory system, cardiovascular system, digestive system, nervous system, and reproductive system – all of them are impacted negatively.

And that's when stress-related diseases come into play. Many diseases can either be triggered or exacerbated by prolonged stress. These include:

- Gastrointestinal diseases of any kind.

- Migraines with various symptoms.

- Heart diseases, such as high or low blood pressure, heart attacks,

    and more.

- Diabetes, where medication may work at times and may not

     at other times.

- Asthma with breathing difficulties and other symptoms.

- Brain-related issues like memory loss and the inability to    

    recognize someone.

- Mental illnesses like anger, frustration, violence, constant   

    criticism, and melancholy etc.

- Almost all types of male and female diseases.

- Sudden weight gain or loss.

- Rapid aging.

- All these diseases at a time, or a combination of many of them,

    can lead to premature death.

Scary, isn't it? It’s true. Stress is indeed something that can wreak havoc on our entire lives.

So, how do we reduce 'stress'?

Yes, let me now tell you that. To reduce stress you have to:

- Embrace spirituality.

- Meditate (remember that meditation can never be done  

    without spirituality – it's not just about sitting quietly).

- Maintain a balanced diet.

- Exercise regularly. (walking is the best exercise)

- Get enough quality sleep (night time sleep is generally better).

- Practice time management – plan when and how you'll do tasks.

- Minimize mobile and TV screen time; use laptops and desktops   

    only for work.

- Stop making hasty decisions and castles in the air.

- Share your opinions with friends or family members.

- Practice ‘PRANAYAMA’ or, if not possible, then ‘Savasana’(Corpse

    pose).

- Get adequate rest.

- Stop looking for faults and try to find the good in everything.

- Learn to say 'no' – don't say 'yes' to do something emotionally,

    that you would be unable to do later taking stress.    

- Stay away from negative or sensational news – most TV news

    tends to be negative, covering topics like rape, murder, and      

    violence.

- Avoid political criticism unless you're into politics, and if you are

   then just limit your criticism to only when you're specifically

   asked to do so. Never at other times.

- Do what you enjoy– like listening to good music, reading a good

  book, watching inspiring YouTube videos, or listening to

  motivational audios – for a short period of time daily.

Remember, if you can do all of these, it's excellent, but not everyone can do everything, and there may not always be an opportunity for everything. So, I especially recommend meditation only.

I want to ask you something very logical here.  

If whatever there in medical science like pituitary, adrenal, stress hormones, and everything else can truly be controlled through meditation only then why would you not just stick to meditation?

That's what I tell those who come to me. Some have reduced medication by following my advice, while others have found relief without medication. Should you need my consultation, please feel free to contact me any time.

Stress is a part of life; there are times when you feel like nothing will go right or that there's no way out of this situation or it's not possible to escape from that state of mind.

But here I say that if that state of mind doesn't occur in you, there would not be any sign of trouble. Stress won't occur at all. And it's only possible through meditation.

So, at last I especially emphasize again that if you can follow all of the above, that's excellent. If not, at least meditate as much as you can.

One important thing to note:

Those who have already started taking stress medication should not stop or reduce their medication without a specialist's advice. Those who are meditating must continue, and those who are wondering what to do must make a commitment to start meditating now.

Stay well and healthy.